From her two posts, I think she isn't asking for help or advices. She is just telling her problem.
exegrapixcafe wrote:
All who are married and to be married soon...
It hurts to accept the reality that getting married to an immature ...
The things that I'm hard up to accept is my husband's attitudes towards me...
Yes, I'm so jealous and mad...
Fuck this kind of husband...
...Which is very unfair.
I wish and pray ...I would rather rewind everything.
ANYBODY COULD COMMENT on this discussion.
exegrapixcafe wrote:
...it's been easy to give advice and send talks if we're not affected...
I'll just "cheer" myself for this good world...
... could not bring back my good future...
Don't exchange your profession and good future to anyone else promises..
so.. when advices were shared, it went rather ignored or counted as inappropriate, or difficult to do. For example, she said they weren't talking, and it was suggested they actually talk their issues out. Well, it's the best advice, but in her situation, it is a difficult one and it is far from what they both want to do. Kaya siguro nasabi niya, easier said when you aren't having the difficulty.
Yes, I'm not discounting those other couples who did successfully overcome problems similar to this when they decided to talk it out. Im just saying na, sometimes our advices fall on deaf and emotional ears because we fail to initially put ourselves on their situation. So, instead of helping the person, we actually are letting them believe their hurts more.. So, as for me, she was asking just for comments..
I think x_ozzy_x hit the nail when he said
x_ozzy_x wrote:
sa tingin ko lang ha.. parehas po kayong may problema...
he's tellin in plain and simple language that even the writer should reflect on her own principles and values. so, in a way, he helps the person evaluate (if she will) the situation in a more objective manner.
Anyway, i will try to paraphrase some from the book of Stephen Covey "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". He said, the fastest way to change a person is to change his paradigms, or beliefs. It is a good book, and by far I see it supports biblical principles too. For example, the paradigm of the hubby maybe for now is that, family is very important, but he feels cheesy if he shows love to it. But i think that whole thing changes when he finds his house burning and his family is inside. The paradigm (belief) suddenly changes, he remembers that the persons inside are the most valuable possession he has and is worth saving and loving.. you will see the change there..
im not saying someone should burn the house or something, im pointing out the plausible possibility of change from a change in point of view.
look at exegrapixcafe's paradigms right now:
-she wishes she could go back thru time
-she says 'f__k' that husband
-she hates her what happened to her profession (presumption here)..
and if we all see, it's wishful thinking at worst. not only is it damning, one is utterly impossible! and it's a sad life to hold on to these hopes or hurt.. so my comment is.. you're making your life worse by those thoughts.. so, ozzy is true, you both have problems to resolve.
i like the joke "pass the bacon, pig"
